Canada’s Debate

In the past few years I’ve graduated from receding to balding, torn my hip flexor, and done seemingly permanent damage to my knee. I’ve spotted a few wrinkles here and there too. I get frequent heartburn, reduce the acidity of my diet, and get heartburn again in six months, reduce the acidity… etc. I’ve learned that I carry a genetic defect called Tae Sachs, and I just found out I may have an iron deficiency which was not previously there.

And you know what, I couldn’t be happier with my life (in the physiological sense.) As much as I hate getting a sunburn on my scalp, this is a relatively minor concern. I just saw a commercial on TV that advertises a skin cream which causes your skin to exfoliate during the night. Now, lets look up the meaning of the word exfoliate:

Personally, I’ve never understood why anyone thinks this is a good idea. Back to the commercial; anyways in the ad we see a woman (who supposedly uses the product) who looks maybe thirty. There’s not a wrinkle on her. Now, granted, most thirty year olds don’t look like an old baseball glove, but it’s not an unusual time to spot the odd crow’s foot or line. So who cares right? Well, this cream is being marketed to women at that age, a cream that accelerates the skin’s aging process dramatically, for the express purpose of staving off barely noticeable blemishes for a few years. Why anyone does that, only to look like Magda from “There’s Something About Mary” is a mystery.

The point is that we have such an unhealthy appreciation of our health that it’s amazing our race survives from one generation to the next. Seriously, if anyone who is reading this has had botox, or enjoys the Atkin’s Diet… please, for the love of God, stop and think about why you’re doing it. Is a painful, poisonous injection in your face really “healthy” or is it just a pathetic and shallow attempt to mask your own self image? Dr. Kelso from “Scrubs” explains this well:

“Life is scary. Get used to it. There are no magical fixes, so get up off your keister, get out of hear, and start doing the work. Nothing worth having in this world is easy.”

In the meantime, here are some boobies I found when I entered “wrinkled face” into Google’s image search. I like boobies. If you can figure out what these boobies have to do with wrinkled faces, please, let me know. Whoops, my bad. Enter “wrinkles face” without the quotation marks.

Sorry that I haven’t posted much recently. I’ve been busy. Ridiculously busy. Remember my bold Two Weeks! plan? Well, I smoked it. The second course, which is apparently a course in accounting theory, is a little more brain rattling. I’ll be posting regularly regardless. Tomorrow’s post will be political, unless for some strange reason I wake up in a good mood.